It occurred to me upon arrival back to the States this weekend that I never make comparisons until I come home.
That is to say, I only notice myself noticing differences AFTER a trip. For example, I noticed that the roads are so smooth here, our cars are in good condition, there are tons of lanes and cars everywhere, and everywhere is air conditioned even though it's not that hot out. I did NOT find myself in Belize thinking about what's different from home.
I've found this to be true even after coming home from other States. Most commonly, I find myself remarking (to myself, really) how vast the Chicagoland area is, how car-oriented we are, and how flat it is around here.
That's about as deep as I can get on this post tonight. I meant to point out how every one of us in America have more stuff than we know what to do with. At the same time, we are constantly surrounded by advertisements to buy more and stores to do so. I thought about how if I wanted to go indoor rock climbing, I can do that. If I wanted to go ice skating in the summer, I can do that. If I wanted to acquire some obscure part of an obscure object for a rather pointless personal project, I can do that (Think: "Mythbusters").
But I'm too tired to make those points eloquently.
On my last day in Belize, June 4th, my left inguinal lymph gland became infected from too many insect bites (last count was over 40). I saw a doctor state-side on Friday night who prescribed me some heavy meds that leave me feeling drained.
Just, please, try to appreciate and share what blessings you have. You live like royalty and don't even know it.
Neuroplasticity: changes that occur in the brain as the result of experience
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Discouragement & Schindler's List
I've hit that point in time where I feel discouraged about how much more needs to be done and how little time I have left. I'm also losing patience with the increase of both the temperature and my insect bites. The first makes me feel guilty for leaving and the second makes me feel guilty for wanting to leave.
I plan on writing about the specifics in more detail another time. Suffice it to say that I am at a low point in this cycle. Whenever I feel this way, I try to remind myself of something my friend Danette told me: think of "Schindler's List". Schindler worried so much about the people who died that he could have saved, that he forgot to consider all the people he did save. It's true that when there are so many issues going on in this world, individuals can only do so much. But consider that "only so much" is indefinitely better than nothing at all.
That brings me to another point: Short- vs Long-term volunteer?
This weekend I was finally able to be a tourist. (Belize is as amazing as everyone claims it to be!) At the same time, I hobnobbed with tourists and that's always an interesting experience. A common reaction when I say that I'm volunteering for 2 weeks is surprise and wonder at how anyone can make a difference in such a "short time".
My answer to them is pretty much what I said in my last blog post. We CAN make a difference without having to stay years in an area. In fact, short-term volunteers are people who can take back their experience and enhanced world-view to their home community to spread the knowledge, empathy and enthusiasm, which hopefully encourages more people to volunteer or donate to good causes. Short-term volunteers bring diverse perspectives, opinions, skills, knowledge, ideas, energy, donations and money/jobs (via volunteer fees) to the community-in-need. Short-term volunteers can spread their help across many places versus one concentrated place. Short-termers increase the opportunity for NGOs and other volunteers to network and use each other as resources. Indeed, people who only volunteer weeks or months of their time & efforts can make a huge, long-term overall impact (as long as they work with reputable NGOs). And like I said earlier (and confirmed by those around me) - SOME help is better than none at all.
Now, let me delineate the merits of long-term volunteerism. Two out of the 4 times I've volunteered, I've come across Peace Corps people or places. At an orphanage in Kenya called Dago Dala Hera, I got to see how a PC volunteer used PC funding to help them start building the children's home and set up their HIV/AIDS outreach program. Here in Belize, a PC volunteer just showed up yesterday at one of the schools at which I've been helping. She said she just finished her 3-month training program and will now start her 2-year stint right here in Georgeville and Central Farm to help them develop a literacy program for both schools. She's basically here to fulfill what I imagined would be the best recommendation. We will meet tomorrow morning, along with the both school principles, to discuss ideas for how this reading program will work out. I said today, I didn't want to step on her toes but that I do have ideas as a speech/language specialist -- she immediately reacted with wide-eyed surprise and said she'd love to talk about it since she doesn't have any training for it. What perfect timing that my leaving coincides with her arrival.
Nevertheless, I came home today still feeling discouraged. Then, by God's grace, I read a Facebook message from my friend Summer, who quoted something from her daily devotional book. It brought gentle tears of relief to my eyes, that I have not been here in vain, and the problems that I feel burdened by are not my own. They are problems of a fallen world. Therefore, I am not responsible for solving those problems, nor should I feel guilty for not being able to help more than I have.
Copied below is the entire message Summer wrote to me.
June 1
I AM involved in each moment of your life. I have carefully mapped out every inch of your journey through this day, even though much of it may feel haphazard. Because the world is in a fallen condition, things always seem to be unraveling around the edges. Expect to find trouble in this day. At the same time, trust that My Way is perfect, even in the midst of such messy imperfection.
Stay conscious of Me as you go through this day, remembering that I never leave your side. Let the Holy Spirit guide you step by step, protecting you from unnecessary trials and equipping you to get through whatever must be endured. As you trudge through the sludge of this fallen world, keep your mind in heavenly places with me. Thus the Light of my presence shines on you, giving you Peace and Joy that circumstances cannot touch.
Psalm 18:30; Isaiah 41:13
I plan on writing about the specifics in more detail another time. Suffice it to say that I am at a low point in this cycle. Whenever I feel this way, I try to remind myself of something my friend Danette told me: think of "Schindler's List". Schindler worried so much about the people who died that he could have saved, that he forgot to consider all the people he did save. It's true that when there are so many issues going on in this world, individuals can only do so much. But consider that "only so much" is indefinitely better than nothing at all.
That brings me to another point: Short- vs Long-term volunteer?
This weekend I was finally able to be a tourist. (Belize is as amazing as everyone claims it to be!) At the same time, I hobnobbed with tourists and that's always an interesting experience. A common reaction when I say that I'm volunteering for 2 weeks is surprise and wonder at how anyone can make a difference in such a "short time".
My answer to them is pretty much what I said in my last blog post. We CAN make a difference without having to stay years in an area. In fact, short-term volunteers are people who can take back their experience and enhanced world-view to their home community to spread the knowledge, empathy and enthusiasm, which hopefully encourages more people to volunteer or donate to good causes. Short-term volunteers bring diverse perspectives, opinions, skills, knowledge, ideas, energy, donations and money/jobs (via volunteer fees) to the community-in-need. Short-term volunteers can spread their help across many places versus one concentrated place. Short-termers increase the opportunity for NGOs and other volunteers to network and use each other as resources. Indeed, people who only volunteer weeks or months of their time & efforts can make a huge, long-term overall impact (as long as they work with reputable NGOs). And like I said earlier (and confirmed by those around me) - SOME help is better than none at all.
Now, let me delineate the merits of long-term volunteerism. Two out of the 4 times I've volunteered, I've come across Peace Corps people or places. At an orphanage in Kenya called Dago Dala Hera, I got to see how a PC volunteer used PC funding to help them start building the children's home and set up their HIV/AIDS outreach program. Here in Belize, a PC volunteer just showed up yesterday at one of the schools at which I've been helping. She said she just finished her 3-month training program and will now start her 2-year stint right here in Georgeville and Central Farm to help them develop a literacy program for both schools. She's basically here to fulfill what I imagined would be the best recommendation. We will meet tomorrow morning, along with the both school principles, to discuss ideas for how this reading program will work out. I said today, I didn't want to step on her toes but that I do have ideas as a speech/language specialist -- she immediately reacted with wide-eyed surprise and said she'd love to talk about it since she doesn't have any training for it. What perfect timing that my leaving coincides with her arrival.
Nevertheless, I came home today still feeling discouraged. Then, by God's grace, I read a Facebook message from my friend Summer, who quoted something from her daily devotional book. It brought gentle tears of relief to my eyes, that I have not been here in vain, and the problems that I feel burdened by are not my own. They are problems of a fallen world. Therefore, I am not responsible for solving those problems, nor should I feel guilty for not being able to help more than I have.
Copied below is the entire message Summer wrote to me.
June 1
I AM involved in each moment of your life. I have carefully mapped out every inch of your journey through this day, even though much of it may feel haphazard. Because the world is in a fallen condition, things always seem to be unraveling around the edges. Expect to find trouble in this day. At the same time, trust that My Way is perfect, even in the midst of such messy imperfection.
Stay conscious of Me as you go through this day, remembering that I never leave your side. Let the Holy Spirit guide you step by step, protecting you from unnecessary trials and equipping you to get through whatever must be endured. As you trudge through the sludge of this fallen world, keep your mind in heavenly places with me. Thus the Light of my presence shines on you, giving you Peace and Joy that circumstances cannot touch.
Psalm 18:30; Isaiah 41:13
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Therapists Without Borders?
Any doubts* I had about coming to Belize quickly dissipated when I met my host family. Barzakh Falah is run by a married couple, Jaime and Nancy, who rank among the top people I admire, respect, and find inspirational. They have 2 children of their own with 1 on the way (i.e., any day now!) and are raising 3 adopted children, each who had been deemed "unadoptable" by the authorities around here.
The youngest of the adopted chlidren is 4-year-old "B". A child born of substance abuse, B has lived here for 2 years. Her behavior problems had gotten so severe in their home that they confessed they were ready to give up and return B to the system. But then they heard about me and my profession. Through email exchanges and her personal research, Nancy learned that behavior problems may be the result of poor communication skills. They changed their mind about returning her, and took the announcement that I was coming as a sign that they need to give this little girl another chance.
Imagine that! Just because I came, this little girl is staying.
Make no mistake -- this is not a family that hasn't tried everything. This is not a family who thinks "oh well, this one doesn't fit with us. Send her back." They've reached out and sought help, particularly from the Social Services here who are supposed to support the children and their new families. But Social Services here is bullcrap. They don't know the first thing about caring for children with special needs, don't want to admit it, and don't want to do anything to help.
At first, I was intimidated by thinking I was expected to fix everything. Now I know that they know that it's a process, and that I am not an expert by any means, and that if things don't work out, it won't be my fault.
This little girl is SO precious. She's skinny and small and hyperactive. She has mood swings and temper tantrums and speech/language issues. But overall, on the "problem child" scale from 1-10 (1 being normal and 10 being that-14-y/o-boy-with-autism-who-tore-the-bathroom-sink-from-the-wall-in-a-tantrum, or
that-7-y/o-boy-with-Prader-Willi-syndrome-who-lashed-out-at-random-to-scratch-and-draw-blood, or
that-8-y/o-boy-with-Oppositional-Defiant-Disorder-who-waited-till-you're-watching-to-grab-and-run-with-scissors), I'd put B at a level 4.
But I can see how, to parents who've raised normal children, B seems so different and difficult. From my perspective, though, B is a cute very-treatable child. For example, within the first day she learned to make the /f/ sound in the initial word position in single words with visual cues only. She responds to verbal praise and positive attention! She has scattered skills up into the 4-year-old range, but mostly seems to function at a 2- to 3-year-old level. I suspect she has Emotional Disability, among other things. And why not? She was born with odds stacked against her, and has been through circumstances no kid's ever supposed to be put through.
Barzakh Falah has hosted many volunteers through various organizations. But... I'm the first to work directly with the children. (Past volunteers assisted with construction and farming.) Because I came, Nancy and Jaime now recognize that they need to reach out for more volunteers who have skills and knowledge to work with disabled/disadvantaged children and to train caregivers like themselves.
And those 11 children that I've been seeing at the two schools? They are all behind by at least 1 grade and teachers don't know how to help them. They have been "punished" for not achieving. One teacher even said to me today that she's been teaching her students, "No one is stupid. They are just lazy."
But because I came, they started to recognize that they may have been unfair to the children, because they can't help it if they have disorders. And now they want to know how to help them. Talk about paradigm shifts!
And because I came, motivation to create my own organization has been rekindled. While there are large organizations coordinating efforts for doctors and dentists to travel to rural villages, currently no official program exists for special educators, counselors, therapists, social workers, or psychologists. With all due respect to the doctors out there... but doctors are not the ones who are out in the field helping people and their caregivers cope with their diagnoses. They are not the ones who know how to deal with the day-to-day behavioral or emotional or intellectual deviations from the norm. We have to be creative, empathetic, knowledgeable, and PRESENT for those who are struggling.
Anyone who's interested in helping me start "Therapists Without Borders" (or another name more clever than this and includes special ed teachers, counselors & psychs), or anyone interested in travel volunteerism, please let me know!
(Neuroplastic Travel, Inc.?)
-----
*When planning my post-podunk, IL, travels, I considered 3 options.
1) Visit friends in various parts of Eastern Asia
2) Visit Michael in Switzerland
3) Village Volunteers (VV) again and
a) go back to Sirua Aulo in Kenya
b) go to India's Abha Light program (I'd considered it in the past)
c) go to Belize as the first VV volunteer
To be very honest with everyone out there, I was leaning toward option 1 more than anything else. (Oh yeah, it wouldn't have worked well for me to go to Switzerland even if we were still together-- Michael is tied up with school and studies). I was burnt out at work and sick of being an SLP. I really wanted a break AND I longed to country-hop again, like I had just done from Nov '09 - Feb '10. A whim, some encouragement from a good friend, and a strong sense of responsibility all urged me to choose option 3c. Now I realize it was God's doing all along.
The youngest of the adopted chlidren is 4-year-old "B". A child born of substance abuse, B has lived here for 2 years. Her behavior problems had gotten so severe in their home that they confessed they were ready to give up and return B to the system. But then they heard about me and my profession. Through email exchanges and her personal research, Nancy learned that behavior problems may be the result of poor communication skills. They changed their mind about returning her, and took the announcement that I was coming as a sign that they need to give this little girl another chance.
Imagine that! Just because I came, this little girl is staying.
Make no mistake -- this is not a family that hasn't tried everything. This is not a family who thinks "oh well, this one doesn't fit with us. Send her back." They've reached out and sought help, particularly from the Social Services here who are supposed to support the children and their new families. But Social Services here is bullcrap. They don't know the first thing about caring for children with special needs, don't want to admit it, and don't want to do anything to help.
At first, I was intimidated by thinking I was expected to fix everything. Now I know that they know that it's a process, and that I am not an expert by any means, and that if things don't work out, it won't be my fault.
This little girl is SO precious. She's skinny and small and hyperactive. She has mood swings and temper tantrums and speech/language issues. But overall, on the "problem child" scale from 1-10 (1 being normal and 10 being that-14-y/o-boy-with-autism-who-tore-the-bathroom-sink-from-the-wall-in-a-tantrum, or
that-7-y/o-boy-with-Prader-Willi-syndrome-who-lashed-out-at-random-to-scratch-and-draw-blood, or
that-8-y/o-boy-with-Oppositional-Defiant-Disorder-who-waited-till-you're-watching-to-grab-and-run-with-scissors), I'd put B at a level 4.
But I can see how, to parents who've raised normal children, B seems so different and difficult. From my perspective, though, B is a cute very-treatable child. For example, within the first day she learned to make the /f/ sound in the initial word position in single words with visual cues only. She responds to verbal praise and positive attention! She has scattered skills up into the 4-year-old range, but mostly seems to function at a 2- to 3-year-old level. I suspect she has Emotional Disability, among other things. And why not? She was born with odds stacked against her, and has been through circumstances no kid's ever supposed to be put through.
Barzakh Falah has hosted many volunteers through various organizations. But... I'm the first to work directly with the children. (Past volunteers assisted with construction and farming.) Because I came, Nancy and Jaime now recognize that they need to reach out for more volunteers who have skills and knowledge to work with disabled/disadvantaged children and to train caregivers like themselves.
And those 11 children that I've been seeing at the two schools? They are all behind by at least 1 grade and teachers don't know how to help them. They have been "punished" for not achieving. One teacher even said to me today that she's been teaching her students, "No one is stupid. They are just lazy."
But because I came, they started to recognize that they may have been unfair to the children, because they can't help it if they have disorders. And now they want to know how to help them. Talk about paradigm shifts!
And because I came, motivation to create my own organization has been rekindled. While there are large organizations coordinating efforts for doctors and dentists to travel to rural villages, currently no official program exists for special educators, counselors, therapists, social workers, or psychologists. With all due respect to the doctors out there... but doctors are not the ones who are out in the field helping people and their caregivers cope with their diagnoses. They are not the ones who know how to deal with the day-to-day behavioral or emotional or intellectual deviations from the norm. We have to be creative, empathetic, knowledgeable, and PRESENT for those who are struggling.
Anyone who's interested in helping me start "Therapists Without Borders" (or another name more clever than this and includes special ed teachers, counselors & psychs), or anyone interested in travel volunteerism, please let me know!
(Neuroplastic Travel, Inc.?)
-----
*When planning my post-podunk, IL, travels, I considered 3 options.
1) Visit friends in various parts of Eastern Asia
2) Visit Michael in Switzerland
3) Village Volunteers (VV) again and
a) go back to Sirua Aulo in Kenya
b) go to India's Abha Light program (I'd considered it in the past)
c) go to Belize as the first VV volunteer
To be very honest with everyone out there, I was leaning toward option 1 more than anything else. (Oh yeah, it wouldn't have worked well for me to go to Switzerland even if we were still together-- Michael is tied up with school and studies). I was burnt out at work and sick of being an SLP. I really wanted a break AND I longed to country-hop again, like I had just done from Nov '09 - Feb '10. A whim, some encouragement from a good friend, and a strong sense of responsibility all urged me to choose option 3c. Now I realize it was God's doing all along.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Barzakh Falah in Georgeville, Cayo District, Belize
"Barzakh Falah was established in June of 2008, to address the pressing needs of abused, abandoned and at-risk children living in Belize. An important component in this is the ongoing development of a sustainable and self-sufficient organic farm and its integration into each child's education and maturation."
(From the Village Volunteers website)
I will be going to Barzakh Falah primarily to assess, treat and counsel the children with speech/language problems and help them with whatever other projects they have going on at the time, which include "Earth bag construction" (infrastructure for the children's home) and sustainable farming projects.
Village Volunteers (VV) had already been supporting Kenya, India, Ghana and Nepal when they decided to add Belize recently. It's such a new addition that I will be the first official VV volunteer going there! I'll be able to scope things out for VV and help smooth out any kinks along the way. Barzakh Falah, though, has already been a functioning NGO hosting volunteers from other organizations, so my arrival will not be novel to them.
I'm so excited to volunteer again; this will be my 4th time through VV. It helps remind me of what being a speech therapist is all about, and it's definitely nothing to do with paperwork, insurance, or meetings. Remember when you first left school thinking you'll go out and change the world? Then taking your first job and realizing that all you're doing is charging people or the government for your time and spending that time documenting it?
Volunteering is pure, unadulterated therapy. Therapy that works both ways. I recommend everyone give it a try.
(From the Village Volunteers website)
I will be going to Barzakh Falah primarily to assess, treat and counsel the children with speech/language problems and help them with whatever other projects they have going on at the time, which include "Earth bag construction" (infrastructure for the children's home) and sustainable farming projects.
Village Volunteers (VV) had already been supporting Kenya, India, Ghana and Nepal when they decided to add Belize recently. It's such a new addition that I will be the first official VV volunteer going there! I'll be able to scope things out for VV and help smooth out any kinks along the way. Barzakh Falah, though, has already been a functioning NGO hosting volunteers from other organizations, so my arrival will not be novel to them.
I'm so excited to volunteer again; this will be my 4th time through VV. It helps remind me of what being a speech therapist is all about, and it's definitely nothing to do with paperwork, insurance, or meetings. Remember when you first left school thinking you'll go out and change the world? Then taking your first job and realizing that all you're doing is charging people or the government for your time and spending that time documenting it?
Volunteering is pure, unadulterated therapy. Therapy that works both ways. I recommend everyone give it a try.
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