Discouragement & Schindler's List

I've hit that point in time where I feel discouraged about how much more needs to be done and how little time I have left. I'm also losing patience with the increase of both the temperature and my insect bites. The first makes me feel guilty for leaving and the second makes me feel guilty for wanting to leave.

I plan on writing about the specifics in more detail another time. Suffice it to say that I am at a low point in this cycle. Whenever I feel this way, I try to remind myself of something my friend Danette told me: think of "Schindler's List". Schindler worried so much about the people who died that he could have saved, that he forgot to consider all the people he did save. It's true that when there are so many issues going on in this world, individuals can only do so much. But consider that "only so much" is indefinitely better than nothing at all.

That brings me to another point: Short- vs Long-term volunteer?

This weekend I was finally able to be a tourist. (Belize is as amazing as everyone claims it to be!) At the same time, I hobnobbed with tourists and that's always an interesting experience. A common reaction when I say that I'm volunteering for 2 weeks is surprise and wonder at how anyone can make a difference in such a "short time".

My answer to them is pretty much what I said in my last blog post. We CAN make a difference without having to stay years in an area. In fact, short-term volunteers are people who can take back their experience and enhanced world-view to their home community to spread the knowledge, empathy and enthusiasm, which hopefully encourages more people to volunteer or donate to good causes. Short-term volunteers bring diverse perspectives, opinions, skills, knowledge, ideas, energy, donations and money/jobs (via volunteer fees) to the community-in-need. Short-term volunteers can spread their help across many places versus one concentrated place. Short-termers increase the opportunity for NGOs and other volunteers to network and use each other as resources. Indeed, people who only volunteer weeks or months of their time & efforts can make a huge, long-term overall impact (as long as they work with reputable NGOs). And like I said earlier (and confirmed by those around me) - SOME help is better than none at all.

Now, let me delineate the merits of long-term volunteerism. Two out of the 4 times I've volunteered, I've come across Peace Corps people or places. At an orphanage in Kenya called Dago Dala Hera, I got to see how a PC volunteer used PC funding to help them start building the children's home and set up their HIV/AIDS outreach program. Here in Belize, a PC volunteer just showed up yesterday at one of the schools at which I've been helping. She said she just finished her 3-month training program and will now start her 2-year stint right here in Georgeville and Central Farm to help them develop a literacy program for both schools. She's basically here to fulfill what I imagined would be the best recommendation. We will meet tomorrow morning, along with the both school principles, to discuss ideas for how this reading program will work out. I said today, I didn't want to step on her toes but that I do have ideas as a speech/language specialist -- she immediately reacted with wide-eyed surprise and said she'd love to talk about it since she doesn't have any training for it. What perfect timing that my leaving coincides with her arrival.

Nevertheless, I came home today still feeling discouraged. Then, by God's grace, I read a Facebook message from my friend Summer, who quoted something from her daily devotional book. It brought gentle tears of relief to my eyes, that I have not been here in vain, and the problems that I feel burdened by are not my own. They are problems of a fallen world. Therefore, I am not responsible for solving those problems, nor should I feel guilty for not being able to help more than I have.

Copied below is the entire message Summer wrote to me.

June 1
I AM involved in each moment of your life. I have carefully mapped out every inch of your journey through this day, even though much of it may feel haphazard. Because the world is in a fallen condition, things always seem to be unraveling around the edges. Expect to find trouble in this day. At the same time, trust that My Way is perfect, even in the midst of such messy imperfection.

Stay conscious of Me as you go through this day, remembering that I never leave your side. Let the Holy Spirit guide you step by step, protecting you from unnecessary trials and equipping you to get through whatever must be endured. As you trudge through the sludge of this fallen world, keep your mind in heavenly places with me. Thus the Light of my presence shines on you, giving you Peace and Joy that circumstances cannot touch.

Psalm 18:30; Isaiah 41:13